Hang on or let go?

When I logged onto my brokerage account website this morning, there was an article that I had to read. It was written by Peter Keating from SmartMoney, and entitled, “Hanging on at home.”

It’s a very well written piece, and talks about the steps one ought to consider taking in order to stay put in a house as opposed to moving to a new space as one ages.

What I found most interesting was that at the end, the author concedes that sometimes, the house just isn’t going to be a good fit. For example, since it makes a lot of sense to avoid stairs, a two story house may simply not be worth keeping as we age.

A shortcoming of the article for me was the author’s failure to talk about the other big and largely unacknowledged peril of the house: social isolation, a topic I seem to get back to all the time.

The title says it all: Hanging on. When you think about it, that’s what the effort to stay in the house is, an exercise in hanging on. Think of what this image conjures up… For me, it’s the rock climber holding on for dear life to avoid falling to a sudden and painful death.

Rather than advocating for hanging on, I think that retirement brings about great opportunities for letting go. Not letting go to crash on the rocks below, but a careful, thoughtful, and planned letting go that lets you come to a soft landing in a place where you’re biggest concern isn’t holding on for dear life, but less existential concerns, like who to enjoy dinner with, or what charity you’d like to volunteer to support.

The irony is that we hang on because we value our independence, and it's that hanging on the poses the greatest threat to our independence. It's the letting go that sets us free.

It’s hard to keep both hands on that turkey platter if you're already using them to hang on for dear life.